I keep thinking about yesterday’s post about fear. And especially point #2, that fear is a normal emotion, and once we accept that emotion as an every day part of our lives, it loses its power. Society has equated fear with weakness, and we are taught to be ashamed of it. To keep it hidden.
I really like the idea of bringing fear into my every day realm, living with it, talking to it, accepting it. What kind of power can it hold over me if it is a welcome emotion, along with love and joy? Fear is not to be feared, because it teaches us about things we need to overcome. It shows points within our souls that need to be addressed. Without fear, how can we grow? Without fear, how can we prove that we are brave?
Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the fortitude to push through despite the fear. Very rarely will fear just “disappear”, giving you a chance to show courage. Most of the time, you have to act even though your heart is pounding and your hands are clammy and you have no idea what the end result will be.
I’ve always hated my fears. I hate them to the point that I confront them head on, grabbing on to them like a madwoman, because I don’t like being afraid of things.
During a meditation session with my spiritual teachers last year, the issue of vulnerability arose. I had a major blockage to being vulnerable that has encapsulated my entire adult existence. Being vulnerable was a debilitating fear of mine; the thought alone paralyzed me and gave my stomach knots for hours. I took baby steps to push through this, but the real test was when I told my “friend” that I was actually head over heels, madly and completely in love with him. Without any inclination that he felt the same way. Jesus – I told someone I was in love with him. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. But I had to do it. I had to tell my truth, and be released from those emotions that were enslaving me.
And now that I’m on this new path of vulnerability, I don’t see what all the fuss was about, or why I was so afraid all those years. I LOVE being vulnerable. It really suits me. And I love it when people are vulnerable with me.
I like the fact that I face my fears instead of run from them, but my initial attitude of hating them, fearing them and the power they hold over me – I don’t like that. So 2012 – you have already proven to be a year of rebirth, and we shall continue this theme. 2012 is the year I love my fears first, then overcome them. I’ll let you know how it goes…