Paris is f*&%ing expensive. That’s the first and most important thing to know about the City of Lights. The second thing to know is that when you are flying into Beauvais with RyanAir, this airport is a good 1.5 hours outside of the city and you will need to take a bus for 15 Euros to get into Paris.

Another thing: I’m a bit spoiled by the Metro system in Madrid. It’s flawless, clean and easy to navigate. Not so with the Paris Metro. Therefore, my flight arrived at 18:45 and after the bus and then wandering aimlessly and asking countless questions in broken French, I arrived at the hotel to meet Barry around 22:00. I needed a Kir Royal and quickly. For 9 Euros apparently. And fondue that was 36 Euros. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I screamed into the night. No. No I’m not, said Paris. And that was that.

fondue and kir royals for my first night in Paris

We dined in Montmarte, a super cool boho neighborhood with sneaky alleys filled with cafes and bars tucked under the shade of ancient trees. I wanted to spend all of my time here. Barry wouldn’t let me, and instead made me climb 562 stairs to see the Sacre Coeur at night. It was worth it.

They have condom machines in the Metro stations. For those moments when you just can’t wait…

We stayed at the Hotel Avia Sephir @ the Pasteur Metro stop. Do not recommend. About 100 Euros/night for a tiny room with tiny beds.

That night in the hotel room with Barry and his brother Tim, I hear the following conversation:

Barry: “Hey Tim I guess tomorrow is your last day to find opium, huh?”
Tim: “Yeah, I was about to get online and look for it now.”
Me: pause…pause…pause (eyes wide)
“…so we’re just casually talking about opium now?”

Turns out, it’s a shoe store. For SneakerHeads. Learned that term that night, too.