This disease is complicated, delicate, fickle and endless. I haven’t posted for months because things got really dark for a while. But hmmm. How do I fill you in?
Let’s do a 4 month wrap up, rap rap rap up!
(30 Rock ref)
September was a shitty month. I completely folded into myself and shut out the world. I dealt with weeks of such severe chronic nausea I thought I would pull my hair out. I lost a lot of weight. I mostly slept through this entire month.
My long awaited period finally arrived too. And it was…fairly insignificant. In terms of pain and general life destruction. I popped a few Naproxen, hugged my heating pad for a couple of days, then it was over. I was ecstatic, yet suspicious. Like that period was a Trojan Horse, sent in to distract me from the one that would really kill me. But nothing else happened. Weird. I thought it was luck, but Mathias said it meant that biochemically things were starting to balance. Holla!
September also ushered in what turned out to be the first few whispers of depression. I lost all interest in doing anything, or seeing anyone, and I didn’t even care that I was heading in that direction. However it was also the first month that I started sleeping on a regular basis since October 2013, so its difficult to identify if my body was responding to inexplicable exhaustion, or depression, or both. Regardless, I spent most of the month in a dark room, on a tempurpedic bed, watching all 3 seasons of Veep in a row and sleeping. I slept A TON. And it was the most delicious, rewarding, wonderful thing I’ve experienced in a really long time.
This month is also when all endo pain stopped once and for all. I have had ZERO pain since September. You guys…I don’t even know how to handle this. Chronic daily pain for almost a decade and now nothing!??!!? What is so strange is how easily my body has adapted to being pain free. As if life has always been this way. Life always finds a way. My pain was SO severe, yet now as I’m trying to remember what life was like before, it’s hard to believe I wasn’t making it up. That old life seems so far away now.
MY PAIN IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stay tuned for October…