Freaking. Rock. Star.

My brother, that is.

Austin completed his first Ironman in Tempe, AZ on Nov 22. If you want a quick reminder of how physically inferior you are to the gods and goddesses of this cruel world, be a spectator here. Um, yeah. My “workout” of 3 miles (as I gasp and stagger to complete) are mere drops in the proverbial Ironman bucket.

2.4 mile swim

112 bike ride UP A MOUNTAIN

26.2 run

Here he is on his way to register

The look of burning intensity…and well chiseled arms

My night before meal. I had to fuel for a long day of standing around and drinking. And I mean long!

Hello yummy bruschetta and delicious Gruner Veltliner – give me energy!

Race Day began at 7am with the 2.4 mile swim in Tempe Town Lake. There they are below in the distance, all 2.880 of ’em. Get ‘er done y’all, get ‘er done.

So after seeing him complete the swim (in one hour, hey!) and take off on the bike, we assumed position – at the bar. With Mill Avenue a block away, the set up couldn’t be better. Think 6th Street, but cleaner, and in the desert. Bloodies in hand, we were able to track him on my phone via the GPS unit we bought for him for the big day! Such a great idea! We were able to time our drinking and cheerleading perfectly, thus leading to a very productive and happy day.

There were a few hiccups along the way. A group of incredibly nasty women at the bike race took it upon themselves to police the crosswalk, and threw daggers at anyone who dared to cross their imaginary line. Couple that bad attitude with my inability to keep my mouth shut, and well, luckily that situation was diffused.

Then as we waited in the transition area for him to start the run, the GPS suddenly went to 0 mph. We panicked, thinking he had crashed on his bike. But he rounds the corner 5 minutes later with a smirk, yelling out that he got a penalty and then took off for the marathon. Drafting. They’ll get ya every time. Don’t use my sidestream!

Of course, none of this mattered as he crossed the finish line to the announcer saying “AUSTIN PARKER, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!” All of his training for an entire year culminated in that moment – for all of us.

We are so proud of you A!!!!!!!!

See ya next year, Tempe. And this time, I’m bringing a roadie.

More pictures to follow soon.